Rambles

I don’t want to feel what’s inevitably

real I don’t want to fall and have

my back against the wall

I don’t want to be a victim of

happenstance I want it my way

without the chance

I just want to care without consequence

Denial will become my greatest defence

I want to have it all while feeling no pain

I want to go crazy without being insane

I want the happiness I’ve always heard existed I don’t want forever if it’s only resisted

I want the whole package without all of the stuffing

I’d rather be at peace than end up with nothing

I don’t want the hype and all of the fears

That only result in consistent tears

If I could just let the sleeping dog lay

I might wake up and see it one day

If I just let myself trust instead of recoil My simmering pot may come to a full boil If only it were easier done than said

Then maybe these demons wouldn’t

show up inside my head